As the new year approached, I found myself reflecting on the “what ifs” of life—on what might have happened had I settled for less than what God intended. While I have not yet arrived where I once hoped to be, I feel genuinely blessed for all I have received, for all I have lost, and for the leaps of faith I took in the hope of obtaining something greater.

2025 was a year where hope was tested. For a long time, I remained stuck in a one-sided fantasy, unable to move forward. I tucked my heartbreak away, hoping it could be mended, only to eventually accept the truth: some things can never return to what they once were, no matter how hard we try to fix them.

I eventually made some of the hardest decisions of my life, yet I have never felt such joy as I did when I finally stepped through the door that had been left open for me all along. I see now that the Lord has His own timing; I wouldn’t have been ready to meet someone like him had I left sooner. I was being prepared without even knowing I was in preparation. I was hurt, unaware that this pain would become the very path to my healing.

I feel as though I’ve been brought back to my nineteen-year-old self, given a second chance to make things right. This time, I am choosing my circle more wisely and taking my search for an eternal companion more seriously. I am setting eternal standards so that I may never wander from my covenant path again.

I am reminded of Alma’s words on faith: “It beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.” A seed I once planted felt delicious to me, yet I left it unattended and allowed it to perish just as it began to blossom. I am deeply grateful that through the Atonement of our Savior, I have been given the chance to replant those roots. Though I am still far from the woman I hope to become, I know that as I wear the armor He has given me, I can withstand all things through Him.

I can hardly put into words the enchantment of realizing the Lord placed someone in my life to help me heal—an answer to prayers I had only whispered. I wasn’t paying attention at first; my loyalty had been given to the wrong person for so long that I almost didn’t recognize what I had always sought. He is a soul so kind, sincere, and uplifting—a light that pushes back the shadows in my heart.

Though I am still finding the courage to fully claim that light, I pray it remains close. He is a physical reminder of the Spirit by my side—a presence I look forward to, a warmth I seek, and a comfort I have never known before. It is a quiet hope I carry, something I never wish to take for granted.

Is there anything more magical than something so good it makes you want to be better? He fits seamlessly into the growth I am working toward, encouraging and challenging me in ways only love and light can. It is a reminder that the things we hope for most are not taken from us; they are often just being carefully prepared by a loving hand, waiting for the right moment to bloom.

So, on this New Year’s Day, I end with a quiet confession: I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on me. Oh, did you ever know that I had mine on you? And even more softly—how I loved your peaceful eyes on me… did you ever know that I had mine on you?

With love,

Ang 🌸