Faith, love, Speech, Spiritual, stories

Love Is Spoken Here

I wrote about Elder Gerrit W. Gong’s talk, “Love Is Spoken Here,” a few weeks ago, and this past Sunday, I felt inspired to revisit it for my sacrament meeting talk—hopefully my last one of the year. 😆 Just documenting another talk for the record!

Brother Chue Feng messaged me on Thursday while I was staring at my work screen at the office, and I thought, “Hmm, he wrote ‘Hey Angela’ with a question mark? What could it be?”

And of course he asked me to give a talk today.

So here I am.

He told me that because it was short notice, if I already had something in mind, I could speak on it. Otherwise, he had a topic for me.

At the time, there actually was something I’d been pondering over the last few days, so I confidently told him, “I have something in mind.”

And then later that evening, as I lay in bed, I wasn’t so sure anymore.

So I went back through my blog and was inspired by a post I had written after a thought came to me rather randomly while I was making my niece learn Primary songs a few weeks ago.

One of the songs I was having her learn was “Love Is Spoken Here,” which reminded me of Elder Gerrit W. Gong’s General Conference message with the same title. It’s from the October 2023 General Conference, so if you missed it, I invite you to go back and listen to it. He shared a beautiful message.

And it got me thinking about the different ways we say, “I love you.”

Some people say it easily. Some show it through service or by remembering the little things. And my favorite—some show it by making sure you’ve eaten. 

And some people may never say very much at all, but somehow, you still know.

And that made me wonder:

How does Heavenly Father say, “I love you”?

And maybe more importantly, do we always recognize it when He does?

In his message, Elder Gong speaks about different languages of gospel love, including “the language of warmth and reverence, the language of service and sacrifice, and the language of covenant belonging.”

I love the idea that love can have a language, because language is more than words.

We communicate through what we do—through how we treat one another, whether we listen, whether we remember, and whether we stay.

And I think Heavenly Father often communicates His love in those same quiet ways.

There have been times in my life when I’ve prayed expecting an obvious answer. I wanted Heavenly Father to tell me exactly what to do. I wanted something unmistakable.

And sometimes the answer came.

But other times, nothing dramatic happened.

Instead, someone checked on me.

A scripture suddenly meant something different.

Someone said something at church that I needed to hear.

An opportunity to serve came when I was too focused on my own problems.

Or there was simply enough peace to take another step forward.

Looking back, I can see that there were times I thought Heavenly Father was silent when He had actually been speaking to me all along.

I just hadn’t learned His language yet.

When I look at the Savior’s ministry, one thing that stands out to me is how often Jesus noticed individuals.

He noticed people others overlooked—the sick, the grieving, the lonely, the rejected, the sinner, and the child.

He didn’t simply see crowds.

He saw people.

And I think there is something sacred about helping another person know that they matter.

King Benjamin taught in Mosiah 2:17:

“When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”

This connects beautifully with what Elder Gong calls “the language of service and sacrifice.”

Service can be such a powerful language of love because it teaches us to look beyond ourselves and notice people the way the Savior does.

And when we hear the word service, we might imagine something organized—a service project, an assignment, or a meal being delivered.

But service can also be incredibly ordinary.

It can be sitting beside someone who came to church alone.

Sending a message when someone comes to mind.

Listening without immediately trying to fix everything.

Helping without being asked.

Or simply noticing when someone doesn’t seem like themselves.

On the week of Christmas last year, I had an opportunity to experience that kind of simple service when I went caroling with the missionaries to a couple of families.

And we’re hoping to do it again this year, so stay tuned. 

We went from home to home singing Christmas hymns. We weren’t doing anything extraordinary. We were simply showing up at people’s doors with Christmas music—and probably some imperfect singing from all of us. 

But looking back, I don’t think the most important part was how well we sang.

It was that we thought of them and went to visit.

Each time someone opened their door, there was a simple message underneath what we were doing to remind them that:

“We remembered you.”

“We wanted to see you.”

“You are part of us.”

And just this week, I was reminded of that same kind of love in a different way.

Some of our Young Women and Relief Society sisters went to visit one of our church grandmas, Sister Pa Vang—or as many of us call her, Tais Paj.

She hasn’t been feeling well, and her daughter mentioned that she would appreciate it if some of us sisters visited.

So we did.

We couldn’t take away what she was going through or fix everything.

But we could be there when she needed comfort.

A few days before, I had encouraged our Young Women to learn a little Hmong phrase or sentence before the visit so they could share it with her and uplift her.

We haven’t quite accomplished that part yet, so girls, we’ll have to try again next time. 😆

But as I’ve been thinking about “Love Is Spoken Here,” I realized how fitting that little assignment was.

Sometimes love really is spoken in another language.

But what matters even more is the effort behind the words.

Someone cared enough to learn them—like our wonderful missionaries in the ward.

Someone cared enough to knock on a door and sing.

Someone cared enough to visit and sit for a while.

Someone cared enough to remember.

Both of those experiences reminded me that Heavenly Father doesn’t just tell His children that He loves them.

He lets us help Him show them.

The circumstances may look different, but underneath them is a simple message:

“You haven’t been forgotten.”

I think Heavenly Father sends that same message to us in so many ways—through a friend, a family member, someone in our ward, or even a prompting someone else chooses to follow.

We may never know when something small we do becomes an answer to someone else’s prayer.

I believe that’s one of the ways Heavenly Father speaks His love—through ordinary people who are willing to notice each other.

But sometimes we can recognize His hand in someone else’s life more easily than we can recognize it in our own.

If you know me,I love flowers, so naturally, one of the ways I’ve come to understand that is through looking at a garden. 😆

One thing I love about gardens is that they don’t look the same throughout the year.

There are seasons when everything is blooming, seasons when things are still growing, and seasons when the garden looks completely still.

I think our spiritual lives can be like that.

There are seasons when we feel very close to Heavenly Father. Prayer feels natural. Scripture feels alive. We recognize answers. We feel spiritually strong.

And then there are quieter seasons.

We struggle. We wander. We question. We become tired.

We may look at our spiritual garden and wonder what happened to everything that once bloomed there.

But if we looked at a garden only during winter, we might assume nothing was happening because everything seems dead.

Underneath the soil, roots remain.

Life remains.

The garden is simply in another season.

I’ve experienced seasons like that.

And one of the most important things I’ve learned as I’ve drawn closer to Heavenly Father again is this:

He never abandoned the garden.

Even when I wasn’t paying attention to Him, He was still paying attention to me.

Even when I couldn’t see growth, that didn’t mean He had stopped working.

Little by little, through scripture, prayer, covenants, service, and the goodness of other people, Heavenly Father reminded me that something can bloom again.

For a long time, I expected God’s love to arrive in ways I would immediately recognize.

But I’ve learned that His love can be much quieter.

It can be the strength to get through one more day.

Someone unexpectedly remembering you.

A prompting.

A correction.

Or simply looking back and realizing:

He was there the whole time.

And recognizing that has slowly changed the question for me.

Instead of only asking:

“How is Heavenly Father showing His love to me?”

I’ve started asking:

“How can Heavenly Father show His love to someone through me?”

Because I think that’s part of becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ.

We learn His language, and then we try to speak it.

We speak it when we forgive.

When we serve.

When we listen.

When we include someone.

When we choose compassion instead of judgment.

And when someone walks through the doors of this church wondering whether they belong, we speak it when we make room for them.

Near the end of his message, Elder Gong asks:

“Where and how does Jesus Christ speak to you in love? Where and how do you hear His love spoken here?”

At the beginning, I asked:

“How does Heavenly Father say, ‘I love you’?”

I don’t think there is only one answer.

His love may come through peace, through another person, or through a season of growth that we don’t understand until much later.

But I believe all of those answers ultimately lead us back to the greatest expression of Heavenly Father’s love:

His Son, Jesus Christ.

He is the greatest evidence that we have not been forgotten.

And because Christ has shown us what that love looks like, maybe there’s one more question we can take with us:

“When someone encounters me, can they feel it?”

Can they feel a little more seen?

A little more remembered?

A little more loved?

I hope our homes and our ward can be places where that love is spoken.

And I hope that when someone walks through these doors wondering whether there is a place for them here, they don’t have to wonder for very long.

I testify that Jesus Christ knows each of us personally.

He knows where we are, even when we feel lost.

He is patient with us in every season of our growth.

And through His grace, things we thought were lost can live again.

I’m still learning His language of love everyday.

I think all of us are.

And I hope that as we learn to recognize the ways He speaks His love to us, we can become a little better at speaking that same love to one another.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Standard
family, love, Relationship

When The Familiar Changes

Fall is slowly approaching, and I can hardly believe another year is already drawing to a close.

There is something about this season that makes change impossible to ignore. The air grows cooler. The days become shorter. The trees begin releasing leaves they spent months growing.

Everything familiar begins to change.

Perhaps that is why this season feels so fitting for where I am right now.

So much has happened lately—some of it painful, some of it confusing, and much of it beyond my control. I find myself hoping these final months of the year will bring a little more light into my life and into the lives of those around me.

My uncle was deported back to Laos, leaving my aunt alone and uncertain about what the next chapter of her life will look like.

I want to help her.

I want to guide her away from choices that may bring her more pain. Lately, she has been returning to some of her reckless ways and surrounding herself with friends who may not be the best influence on her.

I want to remind her that she deserves better.

But she is a grown woman, and I cannot choose her path for her.

That has been difficult for me to accept. When I see someone I love struggling, my first instinct is to step in and fix whatever is hurting them. But there are some lessons we cannot learn on another person’s behalf, and some decisions we cannot make for them.

All I can do is remind her that she is loved, support her when she allows me to, and pray that she will find happiness within herself again without losing who she is along the way.

I also found out that my little flower moved this past weekend.

He used to live across the street from my aunt. Whenever I visited her and saw his car outside, I would breathe a small sigh of relief knowing he was home and safe.

It was such a small and ordinary part of my life that I never considered how much I would notice its absence.

Sometimes, when I was in the area and the weather was bad, I would leave a note on his windshield reminding him to drive safely. Although, knowing the Minnesota wind, I still have no idea whether he ever found them or if they disappeared sometime during the night. 😂

I haven’t had the chance to catch up with him yet, so I don’t know where he moved. After a recent awkward incident, I also wasn’t sure whether it was the right time to reach out and ask if he needed help.

So I will allow the distance to be what it is for now.

I trust that we will eventually move beyond the awkwardness and find our way back to an easier friendship. Until then, I will simply hope he is safe and settling peacefully into wherever life has carried him.

With both my aunt and my little flower leaving that neighborhood, a place I had grown so accustomed to visiting suddenly feels different. That familiar little corner of my life has changed, and I know I probably will not find myself there nearly as often.

It is strange how a place can remain exactly where it has always been and still no longer feel the same.

Over the weekend, I also attended a friend’s wedding and reconnected with one of my old YSA friends. She is the daughter of one of the grandmas from church who is now battling stage-five kidney disease.

I love that grandma so much.

Seeing her daughter brought me back to the first year I met her at church and how quickly I came to enjoy her sense of humor. So much time has passed since then, yet part of me still remembers her exactly as she was when our paths first crossed.

Now I find myself facing the possibility of losing another grandma.

I am working on arranging a time for some of the Relief Society sisters and me to visit her. Last Christmas, she was one of the members we visited when the missionaries went caroling. She was already growing weaker, but she was still well enough to sit with us and enjoy our company.

It breaks my heart to think about how much can change in less than a year.

Over time, the people I have met through church have become more than familiar faces I see on Sundays. Somewhere along the way, they became my family.

Perhaps that is why the possibility of losing them hurts so deeply.

I hope I will have more time with her. I have even considered taking the girls to visit her for one of our upcoming Young Women activities. Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can offer someone is our presence—a little time, conversation, and reassurance that they have not been forgotten.

My Young Women president is also enduring another painful loss. Her father-in-law passed away this past weekend and her family has not even held the funeral for her own father yet.

One grief has arrived before the first has had time to settle.

There is already so much weighing upon her heart, and I pray that the storm surrounding her family will calm soon.

Part of me longs for life to return to those peaceful, ordinary weeks when we can simply feel the Spirit and save the restless battles for another day.

But life does not always give us time to prepare for what is coming.

Sometimes change arrives gradually, like autumn settling over the trees.

Other times, it enters without warning and leaves us trying to understand how everything became so different so quickly.

I was reminded of that again during another conversation at the wedding. A friend told me something about my ex that shocked me so deeply that my mind went completely blank.

As I drove home, I could not stop thinking about what she had said. I kept wondering how differently my life might have unfolded if I had known then what his niece now says he did to her.

I am still struggling to process it.

His niece also says that she told me about it at the time, that I disregarded what she said, and that I continued dating her uncle anyway.

But I have no memory of that conversation.

Something so serious is not something I believe I would have knowingly dismissed or easily forgotten. If I had understood that she was telling me something of that magnitude, I know I would have confronted him.

I don’t understand why she remembers telling me when I cannot remember being told. Part of me wonders whether she now sees me as someone who knew what happened and simply chose not to care.

That possibility hurts because it is not who I am.

At the same time, I do not want my confusion over what I was or was not told to diminish the seriousness of what she says she experienced. Her pain deserves to be taken seriously, even as I struggle to reconcile her memory with my own.

I am left with questions I may never be able to answer.

What did I know?

What did I fail to understand?

How differently would I have acted if the truth had been clear to me then?

Perhaps one of the most painful parts of looking backward is realizing that the past cannot always give us the clarity we seek. We replay conversations, question our memories, and search for signs that only seem visible now because we are viewing them through a different lens.

But no matter how many times I revisit what happened, I cannot return to the past as the person I am today.

I can only decide what I will do with what I know now.

Recently, it feels as though so many parts of my familiar world have begun shifting at once.

My aunt is facing a future she never expected.

My little flower has moved beyond the familiar place where I once knew how to find him.

Someone I love is growing weaker.

Another family is carrying more grief than seems fair.

And a past I thought I had already left behind has returned with questions I do not know how to answer.

My instinct is to reach for everything at once—to rescue, protect, understand, and restore each situation to what it was before.

But perhaps that is not what this season is asking of me.

Fall does not try to preserve everything exactly as it was.

The trees release their leaves.

The flowers return to the earth.

The daylight slowly fades.

Nothing remains unchanged, yet the season is not without purpose.

Perhaps change does not always mean that something has been lost forever. Sometimes it simply means life is moving into a form we do not yet recognize.

With the year drawing to a close, I pray these final months will bring gentler days to all of us.

I pray that my aunt will find the courage to build a life that brings her peace.

I pray that my little flower will be safe wherever life has planted him.

I pray that those who are sick will feel surrounded by love and that those who are grieving will find moments of rest within their storms.

I pray for truth to bring clarity where the past has left confusion.

And for myself, I pray for the wisdom to recognize what I can change, the humility to accept what I cannot, and the faith to trust God with everything I do not yet understand.

Perhaps that is what this season is here to teach me.

Not how to keep everything from changing, but how to remain grounded when it does.

Not how to return life to what it once was, but how to trust that light can still be found in whatever comes next.

Love,
Ang 🌸

Standard